Sry I called you an 8
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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