When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
