Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize