Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
