you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
