just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
