There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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