what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
