i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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