I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
