Non-Jews are for practice
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
