ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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