You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
