I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
