I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
