I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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