Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize