Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
