I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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