which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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