so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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