it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
