everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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