Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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