quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The convent might be a nice break from real life
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
