Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
