Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I smell stomach acid.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
handjob tips. give me some.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
