the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
