i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
