And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
