? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
