I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
