I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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