no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't turn off my feet"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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