Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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