what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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