You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
