Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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