why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
