So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
