I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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