If i come over, it means nothing
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
