But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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