cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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