i used baking grease as lip gloss
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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