32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
