Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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