and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
