Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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