the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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