Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
