i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
