i barfeds in our rink
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
