I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
