i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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