i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
