Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
