Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
