you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
