are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
