Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.

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  (951): I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on. http://tfl.nu/klvy
  Replies (32) Good night (756) Bad night (4779)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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  (215): i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history. http://tfl.nu/28mn
  Replies (12) Good night (2795) Bad night (1112)
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  (626): View more from California

  The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.

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  (626): The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with. http://tfl.nu/h0cz
  Replies (8) Good night (4076) Bad night (1001)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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  (914): Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS http://tfl.nu/w0yg
  Replies (34) Good night (10912) Bad night (1397)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.

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  (484): I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case. http://tfl.nu/welv
  Replies (13) Good night (3261) Bad night (1108)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.

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  (319): Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really. http://tfl.nu/ok73
  Replies (11) Good night (3594) Bad night (1136)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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  (570): Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger. http://tfl.nu/xwib
  Replies (33) Good night (1669) Bad night (3650)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.

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  (803): Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now. http://tfl.nu/1qen
  Replies (9) Good night (2739) Bad night (752)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...

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  (843): he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house... http://tfl.nu/3q6f
  Replies (6) Good night (1997) Bad night (566)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

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  (815): I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn. http://tfl.nu/iw95
  Replies (1) Good night (1625) Bad night (731)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.

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  (586): I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print. http://tfl.nu/m0e5
  Replies (7) Good night (1751) Bad night (831)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.

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  (574): It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers. http://tfl.nu/dqn1
  Replies (3) Good night (652) Bad night (455)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!

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  (850): so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u! http://tfl.nu/677z
  Replies (6) Good night (1516) Bad night (339)
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  (+10): View more from

  I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.

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  (+10): I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins. http://tfl.nu/va1r
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (263)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for

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  (847): I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for http://tfl.nu/6wjj
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (670)

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