Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
As shirtless as possible
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.