Texts From Last Night

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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore

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  (339): That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore http://tfl.nu/dkgm
  Replies (1) Good night (1980) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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  (978): every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y. http://tfl.nu/xtds
  Replies (60) Good night (2816) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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  (508): Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here http://tfl.nu/nzus
  Replies (22) Good night (3982) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you

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  (517): Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you http://tfl.nu/77p0
  Replies (22) Good night (5357) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.

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  (760): He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/lg2v
  Replies (26) Good night (10856) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well

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  (631): stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well http://tfl.nu/al3m
  Replies (6) Good night (3199) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.

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  (206): I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea. http://tfl.nu/v4ue
  Replies (10) Good night (4435) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.

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  (240): Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle. http://tfl.nu/z4p0
  Replies (4) Good night (2153) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...

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  (902): we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids... http://tfl.nu/udrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1939) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.

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  (570): Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza. http://tfl.nu/epfb
  Replies (8) Good night (2697) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Bro? You just made it a target.

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  (407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2
  Replies (8) Good night (2439) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.

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  (856): So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying. http://tfl.nu/yw9q
  Replies (2) Good night (1102) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.

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  (775): you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is. http://tfl.nu/hp0z
  Replies (6) Good night (1394) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.

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  (805): Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes. http://tfl.nu/5iyn
  Replies (5) Good night (1748) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?

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  (832): Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you? http://tfl.nu/bmw9
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (297)

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