Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?