Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.

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(530): View more from California

He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

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(404): View more from Georgia

He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm wearing red that night.

(301): View more from Maryland

Noted, what shade?

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Whore.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid

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(901): View more from Tennessee

A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright

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