If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
