ADVERTISEMENT

• (408): View more from California

  I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.

  Fav 12 1734 851

  share tweet
  

• (818): View more from California

  I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

  Fav 83 12631 1719

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...

  Fav 11 828 4669

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

  Fav 5 1235 2768

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality

  Fav 3 2606 1338

  share tweet
  

• (302): View more from Delaware

  the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark

  Fav 5 1951 971

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing

  Fav 2 1516 935

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.

  Fav 4 828 1374

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!

  Fav 7 1523 953

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.

  Fav 6 1269 583

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.

  Fav 0 860 405

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.

  Fav 2 729 525

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.

  Fav 1 657 400

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?

  (716): View more from New York

  It was tough but I powered through it.

  Fav 3 98 13

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.

  Fav 0 70 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize