Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it

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  (508): If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it http://tfl.nu/rn2p
  Replies (9) Good night (1137) Bad night (1431)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.

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  (303): God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with. (720): And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids. http://tfl.nu/a779
  Replies (16) Good night (1240) Bad night (4450)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.

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  (218): I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted. http://tfl.nu/x30k
  Replies (12) Good night (3988) Bad night (753)
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  (682): View more from Texas

  you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower

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  (682): you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower http://tfl.nu/wfgk
  Replies (12) Good night (3575) Bad night (1807)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.

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  (305): absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me. http://tfl.nu/yste
  Replies (8) Good night (931) Bad night (3888)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet

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  (954): Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet http://tfl.nu/1ehg
  Replies (14) Good night (909) Bad night (3189)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.

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  (201): I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot. http://tfl.nu/7j37
  Replies (13) Good night (6448) Bad night (911)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk

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  (561): Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk http://tfl.nu/69zw
  Replies (2) Good night (1866) Bad night (1300)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!

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  (207): You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?! http://tfl.nu/i02d
  Replies (15) Good night (1904) Bad night (570)
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  (212): View more from New York

  how are things with the new girl?

  (917): View more from New York City

  good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked

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  (212): how are things with the new girl? (917): good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked http://tfl.nu/oe1i
  Replies (6) Good night (3251) Bad night (1029)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.

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  (386): Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it. http://tfl.nu/ijpo
  Replies (6) Good night (519) Bad night (643)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there

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  (440): For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there http://tfl.nu/aljy
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (514)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice

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  (401): Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice http://tfl.nu/bbbc
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (405)
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  (916): View more from California

  My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol

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  (916): My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol http://tfl.nu/8ddh
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (199)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.

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  (403): Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late. http://tfl.nu/az6v
  Replies (4) Good night (200) Bad night (547)

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