u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
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I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
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If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?