drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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